Everything Changed When I Forgave Myself: Growing Up Is a Wonderful Thing to Do, Paperback

Love does the job. travelling too. writing does it. music. Also art, whisky, dark-coloured flowers and watching the landscape change in October. Driving on a small road somewhere in Italy with a beautiful boy and I don't want to be anywhere else in the whole wide world than right there, with him, that very car, smiling.

But I close my eyes for one second and the moment is gone. I'm back to getting high on empty roads somewhere in Sweden and I'm the loneliest girl in the whole damn world and I just want all things beautiful. I just want the music, the literature, the art and the moments of driving in a car with a beautiful boy in Italy. but here, alone, I have no cares in the world.

I have no cares in the world. I just want it all to be beautiful.

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The 4th book from Swedish songwriter & author Charlotte Eriksson is a narrative journey from a lost and wandering youth, trying to find a place in the world, to slowly growing into a peaceful meditation on the joys of growing up, changing and befriending yourself. We get to follow a young woman, consciously creating herself, striving towards an adult self.

"Where are our heroes?" she asks. "Where are our role models? Why are we leaving youth behind and laughing at the ones who are still there? Why not help each other out instead? with a little grace. with a little compassion. Love for all and everyone around because we're all stumbling or succeeding back and forth, every day, and I want more community. I want helpers and guidance. Am I helping someone?"

Charlotte helps by documenting her struggles, inner journeys and outer experiences, and she helps by sharing them with the world as boldly and bravely as she does.

"We're all going through the same journey of growing from kids to teenagers to young adults to somewhat adult-to maybe a little calmer, to even more calm, and some lose their ways here but I want to speak up about it and hear that we're all on the same journey. We're all on the same road but it feels like everyone's ashamed of walking this road so everyone's looking down, trying not to be seen, pretending their feet are steady and not stumbling."

___________

"And what am I? I'm forever stuck in a nonexistent place where no time passes and I do so much and learn so much but I don't grow. I'm still teenage me wanting more. Wanting less. Wanting anything and everything and I think I should grow up now. Grow out of childish anxiety and sorrows for all things past and everyone has moved on from schools and neighbourhoods and I moved first and swore the loudest on never coming back but now I dream about all things past. Going back. How do you transition from being a lost teenager, to one of those calm and serene souls of integrity and certainty? Because that's what I must do, now, soon. Do others feel left behind too, or is it just me? Like the train left with everyone on it and I'm still standing on the platform trying to decide if I should watch the sky for another hour or go change my ticket. Maybe sometimes you need to just close your eyes and jump on the train without feeling ready, and grow your steady breath on the way. I think sometimes you don't know how much you're capable of until you're forced to grow into it."