The Happenstances at the Yellow County Community Swim and Racquet Club the Summer Before Last, Paperback

"Don't worry, as long as I'm alive and raising h-e-double diving boards those rat bastards aren't gonna touch us, trust me. I love this place too much not to fight for it." Set the summer before last around a series of happenstances at a community swim and racquet club in Yellow County, The Happenstances at the Yellow County Community Swim and Racquet Club the Summer Before Last is a bittersweet, nostalgic, but comic novella about a team of misfits, including a loser who secretly lives in the guard house of the club, a struggling artist with webbed toes, a timid teen with a concave chest, and the beautiful heiress of the Comfort Inn fortune. They have to win the impending Tri-County Relay Race and save the club from being run by a management company that only cares about money. The management company hires an opposing relay team of ringers including a girl with a prosthetic dorsal fin and a man named Carmichael Schmelps who looks suspiciously like a certain Olympic gold medalist.